Jock Therapy: Part 2 – Talking Simple


Hey bros,

Everyone knows that jocks prefer to talk simple, but that’s hardly a strange or a bad thing. In reality, almost everyone talks simple – and the people who don’t should probably do it more often.

Why? Human languages are designed to communicate ideas, not to obscure them. Talking simple is the best thing you can do to make sure that as many people as possible can understand what you’re talking about. That’s pretty much all there is to it. The more you’re able to communicate with other people effectively, the more successful you become. With your bros, good communication can mean the difference between being blind to your needs and understanding your needs.

Here are a few useful tips for keeping your exchanges at the right amount of simplicity:

  1. Use the ‘Who cares?’ test. Before you say something, ask yourself why anyone be interested in listening to or even sharing the information you plan to pass on.
  2. Keep your words at an eighth-grade level. Practice by making recordings of things you might say in conversation, and then transcribing them into text. Many apps now have grammar checkers that will calculate the grade level of that text. If you want to calculate it yourself, you can use the Gunning-Fog Index.
  3. Use examples and stories to support your points. People love storytelling, whether they’re jocks, bros, or part of the rest of the world!

One word of caution, though. Talking simple isn’t always easy. You can hide behind a bunch of buzzwords, or you can take a complicated idea and make it stand out clearly. Sure, the second option is tougher, but I think you’re up to the challenge!

Happy bromancing!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

Jock Therapy: Part 1 – Thinking Simple


Hey bros,

If you’re like most people in today’s hyper, crazy world, you’re overworked, overstressed, and most of all, overthinking. Which sabotages a lot of the positive things that happen in your life. Overthinking a good thing makes it seem less good, and overthinking a problem makes it seem a lot scarier than it really is. Maybe you’ve tried popular ways to unclutter your mind, but it never seems to be helpful for long.

What I’m giving you in this article is an exercise in guided imagery. It’s designed to temporarily free your mind from any thoughts that will just be distractions over the next two or three hours. Even though it has a ‘jock’ theme, you don’t necessarily have to use it for a workout (but it is great for clearing your mind before a training session!) Ready? Here we go!

Sit down in a comfortable seat, then close your eyes. Picture yourself inside an empty locker room. It’s an awesome locker room: the benches are smooth and sturdy, the carpet feels fantastic, the lockers are spotless, and there’s a fresh coat of paint on them and on the walls. This is your locker room, bro. Your own safe space.

Now let your thoughts move in and out of your mind the way they normally do. Did you get a thought about something that you don’t need to think about for a while? Something that’s a distraction right now? Maybe it’s a utility bill, or a side project at work, or how many more years until you die. Take that thought, and gently put it into one of the many empty lockers. Close and lock the door to keep it safe. You can always come back for that thought whenever you need it.

If you need a physical cue to help with this, simply touch your index finger to your forehead, and let the thought be pulled to your fingertip like it’s a magnet. Once it’s there, take your thumb and your forefinger and gently pull the thought out of you. If it’s a very worrisome thought, you will immediately feel a relaxing lightness in your head. Take your thought over to the lockers, place it inside one of them, and lock it. One by one, all the thoughts you don’t need are stored away. You feel simple, open, and free; ready to focus completely on what you plan to do next, with only the thoughts that you need to get the job done.

When you’re done, all you have to do is unlock those lockers and be your old self again. But until then. . . enjoy, bro.

Later,
-The Blog Dude

App-y New Year 2018 from seekBromance!


Hey bros,

First, in all seriousness, here’s my best wishes to you for 2018. May this be the year you get everything you want.

Second, I’ve got some news. My developer guy and I are now at the point where we can be totes confident in saying: 2018 will be the year of the first seekBromance app! All the features related to accessing the site (and your data) have been coded, tested, and debugged, both for Android and iPhone versions. Now all that’s left is to finish up the few remaining “support” functions, like updating your email and password, and letting you update your list of favorite brofiles. You know, the stuff that some software geeks call “non-functional requirements.” Finally, we’re going to put the whole app through the QA tests that Google Play and the iTunes store wants every developer to run before submitting. I’m not leaving anything unchecked, bros!

So what’s the magic day? We don’t have one yet, but I promise that you will hear it on the seekBromance.com and Facebook page first. We’re on the final stretch now.

Later,
The Blog Dude

What Bros Need to Know about Harassment of Women at Work


Hey dudes,

Maybe you’re wondering why, all of a sudden, we’re seeing so much in the news about powerful men trying to take advantage of employees. In fact, it’s a problem that’s been going on for centuries. In this article, I’m going to say a few words about why it’s happening and what you can do.

Remember when you were around 12 or 13, and you acquired your first dirty magazine? You were totally pumped (pun intended) when you locked yourself in the bathroom, or went out into the woods, and “used” that mag. Yes, I mean used in every sense of the word. Nothing to be ashamed about: every bro has been there. It’s just part of adolescence, a milestone on the path to becoming a fully developed male adult.

Unfortunately, some guys just never seem to get out of that adolescent stage. (Maybe you’ve met a few of them.) They don’t learn that women have the same worth and dignity as men do, so they go on behaving as if women exist to be used. It can get worse from there: some of these guys, after gaining a certain amount of money and power, believe that they should have women giving them sexual attention just because of their own status. Not for the sake of a relationship, just to show that they have “better” women than other guys do.

So what can you do?

The first step is the simplest. If you haven’t done it already, stop being an adolescent and start being a MAN, bro. You’re old enough, and you’re smart enough. You don’t need other people to constantly look up to you: you already know that you’re a worthwhile dude. And your worth as a man has nothing to do with your job, your bank account, or whoever else shares a bed with you. Those ideas come from a consumer culture that’s trying to commercialize manhood and sell you their stuff. You’ve seen thousands of examples this year alone.

The second thing to do is to find bros who are also men, not stuck in adolescence. Hang out with them. When you surround yourself with bros who don’t feel threatened by their insecurities, it automatically helps you conquer your own.

Happy bromancing!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

Accessing seekBromance.com From Abroad


Hey bros,

You probably know by now that membership on seekBromance.com is currently limited to three countries: the US, Canada, and the UK. However, it’s always been our goal for members to have the same access to the site and its services even when they’re traveling outside those countries.

Recently, because of high rates of hacking attempts and of various online scams, we decided it was necessary to block access to a small number of countries. Don’t worry: it’s still possible for you as a member to keep accessing the site if you travel to one of these places.

To make sure you can reach seekBromance.com overseas, you should take the following steps:

  1. Before you go, open a support ticket on our help site. You will need a separate account for this, but you can open one free (if you don’t already have one) by clicking the “Sign up” link.
  2. Put the following details in your ticket:
    a. Your seekBromance login ID
    b. The country or countries you’ll be visiting
    c. The dates you plan to arrive and to leave
  3. When you reach your hotel, or wherever you will be staying, go online and find your IP address. You can do this on a number of web sites, such as iplocatio.net.
  4. Send an email to support@seekbromance.com that includes your seekBromance login ID and this IP address.
  5. We will turn on your access at this address as soon as possible.
  6. If you’re hopping around multiple countries, rinse and repeat steps 3 and 4.

Please note that it might take us several hours to respond to an email, so there’s probably no point in doing this at a coffee shop, or anywhere you don’t plan to be online again in at least a day or two.

Safe travels, and happy bromancing!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

You Are Not Special – And That’s Awesome


Hey bros,

You might have heard about a high school graduation speech from a few years back, where the phrase “you are not special” was a key theme. The point that the speaker was making is that, even if you were the valedictorian in this class, there were thousands of other class valedictorians in the US alone, and all of them are just as special. Anyway, these words became a popular catch phrase for a while, and some people even tried to politicize it. One target of the “anti-special” crowd turned out to be the participation trophies that some kids received for being involved in sports.

There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with these kinds of trophies, but only if the kids are young enough that they don’t yet have much motivation or even much focus. Beyond that, of course, participation trophies don’t have any point, and even young kids are bright enough to figure that out.

The bottom line is that, unless you’re one of the greatest “X’s” who has ever lived – in other words, an Einstein, a Da Vinci, or a Sun Tzu – you can safely say that you’re not special. You can almost as safely say that you haven’t even met anyone special. I don’t consider myself special, either.

So what’s so awesome about not being special? For one thing, it opens up a lot more possibilities for what you can achieve than if you were simply born to do a particular type of task. A non-special guy can start a billion-dollar company, discover a new genome, or rise to a high elected office. But for bromance, the news is even better.

If you’re not special, most of the bros around here aren’t special, either. So that’s at least one thing you have in common. Why not start a conversation about it? If we’re not special, let’s at least not be special together.

Happy bromancing!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

We Got Hacked


Hey dudes,

On September 5, we got an email from our site host that a hacker injected malware onto our site, disabling user access. We immediately took the site down and started working with a cybersecurity firm, SiteLock, to clean the malware, create a new firewall, and close the access that the hacker had.

Our databases, including the ones with member information, were not affected, and as far as we can now tell, there were no unauthorized accesses to them.

As the bro-prietor, I want to apologize to all seekBromance members for what happened, and I also want you all to know that we’re determined to keep our security levels at a place where this kind of thing doesn’t happen again.

If you have any questions, feel free to go to our support site, and I’ll do my best to answer them. The seekBromance blog will also be there to update you about any developments in this situation.

Now that you know you’re a lot safer, let’s get back to bromancing!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

Real Bros Don’t Rant


Hey bros,

If you take the headlines at face value, it looks like a lot of people, especially here in the US, have been going completely crazy, joining radical movements like the alt right or the far left. Either way, these people are usually guys, they’re always angry, they feel marginalized, and they strike out by spewing venom at anyone who’s not in their club. Sometimes they send death threats and even get physically violent. So WTF is happening? Are we looking at impending social collapse?

No, we’re not. In reality, people like this have always been around. We’re hearing more about them now because (1) the Internet has made it a lot easier for them to find each other, and for them to hate on others, and (2) craziness always makes for news stories that get more people’s attention.

It’s tempting to rant back at these idiots, but don’t. They are so committed to their own propaganda that they will never listen to anything else. Or maybe you feel just as angry about some of the same things that they do. That’s perfectly cool, but it isn’t an excuse to start acting like them.

See, anger can be a great motivator, but a lot of people fall into the trap of thinking that, as long as they rant on social media, they’ve accomplished something. Wrong. If something makes you angry enough to do something about it, make a plan and follow through with it. If it’s truly impossible for you to fix or improve something, even with outside help, then the best thing to do is to put it out of your mind. There’s no point stressing yourself out over what you can’t change.

Later,
-The Blog Dude

 

Your Other Health To Take Care Of


Hey dudes,

By now you’ve heard or read tons of advice about taking care of your health. Stuff that warns you that if you don’t take care of your health, it could wreck your life. All of this has to do with physical health, but what doesn’t get talked about nearly as much is your emotional health. And if you don’t take care of that, it can also ruin your life.

Of course, the rules for taking care of your physical health are pretty simple: get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, exercise daily, don’t smoke, and don’t abuse alcohol or recreational drugs. (You might be able to get away with breaking some of these rules when you’re young, but as you get older you’ll start to wish that you hadn’t.)

The rules about taking care of your emotional health are pretty simple, too. All you need is to have multiple people in your life who:

  1. Love you (Yes, bros do love each other, just like all close friends do).
  2. Want the best for you
  3. Are supportive of you

That’s pretty much it. And that’s why having one or more bros is so important. Your emotional health is being starved if you depend on all of these things from your spouse, a relative, or your girlfriend – or boyfriend. Trying to get all of these things from a single person just doesn’t work, no matter how wonderful they are. Besides, the more people who can give you this kind of emotional support, the easier it becomes for you to give it back to them. It’s a positive feedback loop. So the more bros you have, the merrier.

There’s one more thing about emotional health that needs to be mentioned, though. Just as there are things that are good or bad for your physical health, there are people who are good or bad for your emotional health. Some people are emotionally abusive, meaning that they put you down, guilt you into doing things for them that no reasonable person would ask of you, or otherwise try to take advantage of your good nature. Don’t let these people remain in your life. They only damage your emotional health, and that damage gets worse over time.

Now back to bromancing! Stay healthy!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

The official blog of seekBromance.com