Too much of a good thing



Can a bromance go too far?

Yes it can, especially if it comes at the expense of your relationships with other important people in your life. Obviously, we believe that bromance is a perfectly healthy thing in moderation. However, this week I want to talk about some of the pitfalls that come with overdoing it.

Your significant other (and your bro’s significant other) is the big one. Nothing is wrong with having ‘bros-only’ events when the s.o.’s are doing other things. Do this too often, though, and the romantic partners are going to start to feel left out. If they’re especially paranoid, they may think you’re developing romantic feelings for your bro (more on this later).

Fortunately, the best way to solve or prevent this problem is very simple. Just dedicate two nights a week exclusively to you and your love – and make sure these dates are non-negotiable. Your parter will be happy and you’ll still have time for your bro.

Even if neither you nor your bro has a romantic partner, you can still run the risk of being so deep into your bromance that you find yourself unable to socialize with anyone else. That’s not healthy. We all need emotional support from many different people, and that means that it’s important to make time to socialize with other men and women. If you’re turning down offers to hang out just so you can be with your bro, that’s a bad sign. Plan out your calendar if you have to, but always make sure you have time to develop new friends – and use that time for that purpose.

The third and final ‘pitfall’ I’ll mention isn’t necessarily a problem at all, but it’s still something that has to be confronted and dealt with honestly if it ever happens. By definition, a bromance is completely platonic. Therefore, if either you or your bro start to develop sexual desire for the other, then I’m afraid you don’t have a bromance anymore. If the feelings are mutual, you have a gay romance instead. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being in a gay male romance – as long as both partners are clear about what it is, and what their hopes for it are as they move forward. And if either of you is already romantically involved with someone else, there will be some important decisions to make.¬†Hopefully the relationship is not exclusive, because then you’d be cheating. If you feel that your sexual preference itself is changing (which can happen), you should also talk to someone you trust. Never try to undergo a major change alone.

So happy bromancing, but in moderation!