Hey dudes,

One of the most forgiving rules of manhood is that bros are almost never required to give gifts to other bros. Even remembering a bro’s birthday is mostly optional. The thing is that sometimes, your bro truly goes above and beyond to help you out, and just saying “Thanks, man!” seems totally inadequate. When this happens, and you want to give your bro something special but not ridiculously expensive, consider the broquet. In case you didn’t already know, the brouquet is simply the manly counterpart to the bouquet of flowers, but unfortunately, they’re difficult to find in stores. So here’s my list of tips for how to make one.

You will need:

• Something for the “vase.” This could be a beer mug, a small metal bucket (many of these have beer logos or sports team logos), or even a reinforced take-out box.
• A collection of wooden dowels. You can pick these up at any big-box hardware store. I recommend that they be approximately 3/16 inches thick. Too thin, and the heavier items will make them bend and break. Too thick, and you won’t be able to fit very many in the container.
• Some “filler” to place inside the vase and hold up the dowels. This can be something as simple as plain brown wrapping paper compressed into a wad, but floral foam is easier to work with.
• Tape or glue to fasten the goodies to the end of each dowel. Note that if some of these goodies weigh more than a few ounces, you might want to use stronger tape or glue than what you can find in your office supplies.

Of course, the hardest part of the broquet is picking out the goodies you’re sure that your bro will enjoy. Here are some ideas for that area:

• Airline-sized booze bottles are almost an essential. Five-hour energy drinks are also good, especially if your bro has one too many of those little booze bottles.
• Cigars, if your bro enjoys them – and they don’t even need their own dowels.
• You can also get fairly small bags of chips, Funyuns, Cheetos, and similar snacks. Meat sticks are great to add, too.
• Gift cards (in envelopes, so that the tape or glue doesn’t ruin them).
• If your bro is into sugar, there are plenty of possibilities with fun-size candy bars, M&Ms, and bubble gum, among many others.
• Golf balls and/or fishing lures, if your bro is into either of these sports.

Putting it all together is simple. Tape or glue each item to a wooden dowel, put your filler in the “vase,” and push down each of the sticks as though you were arranging flowers, and bingo-bango, it’s done.

Happy bromancing!

Later,
-The Blog Dude

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