Hey dudes,
You hear a lot about maintaining a healthy balance between friendship and work, or between friendship and other parts of your life, but it’s not so common to hear about balance within a friendship itself. It’s very important, and bromances are no different in this respect.
To be a genuine friend to someone else, and to have a genuine friend, requires two things. First, you have to accept that every person has the same basic worth as a human being, and that every person also deserves to be shown dignity. Second, the power dynamic between you and your friend has to be balanced. This part is what I want to talk about here.
All social creatures, including us, have hierarchies, with those at the top having more power than the others. Sometimes these hierarchies get really complex. So when people start to make “friends,” it’s common for the two friends to believe that one is more powerful (and maybe even has more ‘worth’) than the other. In practice, this is still called a friendship, even though it isn’t.
In a bromance, both you and your bro have to believe that you both have equal power. Enjoying the time that you spend with your bro isn’t enough: your bro has to enjoy the time he spends with you, and you have to like the fact that he does.
By the way, the same thing holds for deeper relationships. In a recent column in the New York Times, the author says,
“Men need to be aroused by the fact that women are aroused. They need to like the fact that women are into whatever they’re doing. (And of course the same rules apply to same-sex relationships.)”
Back to bromance, the most important thing to learn from this topic area is that having a bro isn’t about dominating and getting your way. It’s about having an equal relationship, which makes it easier for our social circles to keep growing.
Happy bromancing!
Later,
-The Blog Dude
